


Eggregious Crimes

by speckledsolanaceae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Confessions, Humor, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 10:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speckledsolanaceae/pseuds/speckledsolanaceae
Summary: Ten needs to buy some eggs.





	Eggregious Crimes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IvyPrincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyPrincess/gifts).

> I told Ivy I'd write her a crack oneshot if she stayed on task as she studies for her exam. She held her end of the bargain, so here it is!

“No, get the large ones.”

“They’re more expensive, though?” Kun grabbed a carton of large eggs anyway, opening it up like a case of money to check its contents.

“It doesn’t matter if they’re cracked, Kun-ge.” Ten huffed and grabbed them from him almost before he could close them safely again. The move triggered a look of long-suffering, but Ten had become largely accustomed to those. “Grab another thing of them.”

Kun snorted. “You really think you’ll get through that one before—”

“It’s better to be safe.” Ten turned his dainty nose up and almost dropped the eggs he was holding when he went to push his hair out of his eyes. Kun muttered something rude, Ten would bet, but he wasn’t listening.

“I’m not paying for these,” Kun told him, straightening with the second carton. He slid the first out of Ten’s grip for safe-keeping, holding them with a far more conscientious air. “I drove us here.”

Ten, about to protest, closed his mouth with a click and disappointment because yes. Kun had.

Kun stared at him, eyebrow raised, as Ten stood there in the middle of the aisle with his mouth closed. “Should we trade these out for small?”

Ten sighed, and Kun took that as a yes, snorting again and, almost petulantly, checked the new cartons for any cracked eggs.

* * *

By the time they got through checkout, it was nearing sunset and they were running out of time.

“We’re running out of time.”

“I’m not affiliated with you,” Kun sighed, sliding into the driver’s seat and slinging his keys from his pocket. Ten tried to look aghast, and, as though sensing the expression despite not even looking, Kun rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to be a part of your disaster. I’ve got an exam to study for.”

Ten slid an egg from the carton and Kun gave him a warning look. Ten ignored it. “I’ve heard it’s a good stress-reliever. You like cooking—how different can it be?”

Kun’s look of disbelief punched a laugh out of Ten’s stomach, and when he doubled over the cartons to laugh, Kun flinched. “If you crack a single egg in here I’m throwing you out the window. Put the egg back now.” When Ten waved the egg in Kun’s periphery, Kun hissed. “You’re such a puny motherfucker. Don’t test me.”

In truth, Kun’s patience knew no limits. It just kept extending into the depths of Hell, and you didn’t realize you were burning until you were staring the abyss in the face.

Ten put the egg back and Kun flipped on the mixtape CD his neighbor’s high schooler of a little brother had given him. Sometimes Ten thought his own crush was crazy until he remembered Yangyang going squeaky red every time Kun so much as blinked in his direction.

A Taiwanese lullaby filled Kun’s Toyota, all piano and some guitar and the pretty hush sounds of Mandarin. Ten leaned his temple to the glass and watched the purple clouds creep by, listening as Kun translated some of the lyrics for him and softly murmured along.

They could both admit that Yangyang had some good taste in music.

* * *

As if worried Ten wouldn’t ever get out of his car unless he opened the passenger door for him, Kun leaned across his body and leveraged the handle. “Out.”

Ten rolled his eyes, but shouldered his way out the door, hooking the door with his foot before Kun could yank it closed. “Join me,” Ten said, and turned his smile on.

“No.”

Ten’s smile dropped and he mixed up an expression of irritation and sulkiness.

Kun sighed, head dropping back against the rest. “I told you I have to study for an exam.”

“And you’ve been studying all day. Count this as your break. C’mon.”

When Kun got out of the car, it was just short of a tantrum by Kun’s standards if the way he grabbed one of the cartons was anything to go by. He wasn’t gentle, that’s for sure—but he didn’t exactly have to worry about making a mess in aisle three or on his own car’s upholstery.

They both stood at the edge of the south studio dorms, the lawn there tickling what their sandals exposed of their toes. The building was all brick and windows plastered with the occupants’ paraphernalia. One window said “CATS OR DOGS?” with a link to follow one of two separate social medias.

If Ten wasn’t above bait like that, he would have gotten on his phone right that second.

Kun sighed again. “Which one is his, then?”

Ten, who refused to memorize the math formulas his professors demanded when he could solve every problem in his head, had memorized _exactly_ which dorm they were looking for. Ten set off across the lawn with a purpose, the sky tinting everything a pastel pink-lilac. Kun followed with reluctance, tinted with resignation.

“I want you to know that I will not be burying you when this is over,” Kun told him, watching Ten crouch and set his carton down on the grass. Ten waved the comment off as he squinted at a third-floor window. The only thing decorating that one was a pretty collection of pothos and succulents.

“Good,” he said, obviously not listening. “The light’s on.” With a care he hadn’t had at all prior to this point, Ten took two eggs out of his carton, small and smooth and brown in his hands. He turned his bright eyes on Kun. “Want to go first? Bet you—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Kun warned, having had prepared for Ten to egg him on (pun only partially intended). Kun set down his own carton and slid a single egg out before narrowing his eyes at thewindow and rolling his shoulder experimentally. “On the count of three.”

“One,” Ten said, giddy.

“Two,” said Kun.

“_Three!_”

They both threw. Ten’s egg smashed right up against the brick to the left of the window while Kun’s hit the opposite corner.

“Fuck,” Ten said with feeling. There was a tremor to his voice, the nerves finally showing.

“This is the worst idea ever,” Kun reminded him, and took up another egg.

Again, they threw at the count of three. This time, Ten’s got the lowest part of the window while Kun’s went a little too high and dripped down the glass.

“Third time’s the charm,” Ten said, voice a lot weaker.

This time, they didn’t even wait for the count.

Both eggs landed straight on both panels of the window with an audible glass-and-shell splat.

They waited, breath bated, and even Kun’s heart thrummed with anxiety in his throat.

Ten was twitching for another egg when they saw a shadow of movement. Ten jerked with alarm. “Oh my god.”

The window yanked open.

Kun had never seen Doyoung look so furious in his life.

“_TEN? _Are you fucking _kidding_ me!” Doyoung’s bleached blond hair rustled in his eyes and he pushed it away in a temper. “I’ll kill you!”

Ten, almost shaking with either humor or cold feet, straightened up and bellowed, “KIM DONGYOUNG! PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!”

Kun could see Doyoung’s mouth pop open all the way from three floors below on the lawn.

“What?” Doyoung cried, voice cracking at the end in some mix of bafflement and lividity.

“Go out with me!” Ten tried again, voice a little stronger and a lot more adamant.

And with that, the window slammed closed.

* * *

They had maybe a minute to breathe in partial bewilderment and adrenaline, unsure what to do, when the side door to the building burst open to release a storm. Doyoung was sprinting across the grass, and for someone who didn’t like to move from his bed if he could help it, he moved terrifyingly fast.

“Oh shit,” Ten squeaked just as Doyoung yelled a, “You’re dead, Chittaphon!”

Ten turned, slipping a little, and bolted.

Or tried to. Kun caught his arm and held him fast as he panicked and tried to jerk away.

“You egg his window and you get what you des—” Kun didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Doyoung collided with his best friend. He would have sent Ten sprawling if it weren’t for the grip Doyoung had in his shirt.

“You _egged_ my window to ask me out? You _asshole_?” Doyoung was red in the face, a strawberry to his blond, wide eyes shining with something Kun found kind of terrifying.

Ten grinned, swallowing the breaths that wouldn’t settle. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking far too happy to have Doyoung up in his face and not sorry at all. Kun tried to curb the urge to roll his eyes.

Instead, his eyebrows jumped up when Doyoung leaned in the last two inches and gave a harsh kiss to Ten’s lips. It lasted maybe a second long, and Kun could almost hear Ten’s brain short-circuit. 

Doyoung let go, letting Ten stagger in shock. He almost stepped on the eggs.

“I hate you,” Doyoung said, adamant and with venom, and pivoted to trudge back to the door of his building.

Ten swayed a little, mouth parted gently.

When Doyoung twisted around before he opened the door, Ten straightened again, alert. “You owe me hot pot!” he said, loud enough to reach across the lawn but a little more subdued in his anger. “Got that?”

“Got it!” Ten almost yelled.

And this time, Kun really did roll his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I had a ton of fun with this. 10/10
> 
> As usual, I would love to hear from anyone in the comments. My [twitter](https://twitter.com/speckledsolana) and [curiouscat](https://t.co/zW26zmaxzw?amp=1) are also open for pestering. I have a [tellonym](https://tellonym.me/solananne) as well, but I ask that if you send me a tell, you sign it in some way (____ anon, anon 1, annonnie, etc) so that I know it's not a bot/random question.


End file.
